The 5-day sessions on ‘Collective Healing & Conflict Resolution’ helped me review my understanding and perspective of interpersonal, intrapersonal, intergroup and world conflicts. As I write this a few days after the sessions have ended, I am trying to enumerate how it impacted or changed my everyday life both personally and at work.

I was truly struck by the word, meaning and practice of Equality or Samata practice. Contrary to everyday life, when we tend to avoid difficult circumstances and people, the steps of Titiksha and Udasinata encourage us to endure and raise ourselves to a higher ground. Personally, I have gone through some very troubled times and found myself in spaces of intense conflict, where it was essential for me to take a stand and hold my ground. The practice of passive Samata was very helpful for me to get a framework in Indian psychology that connects my experience to spirituality. The sessions were a reminder of the importance of Nati or total surrender to the Divine in my life. This of course is very hard to realise and it may take many lifetimes.

The active Samata steps of Sama rasa, Sama Boga and Sama Ananda seem rather theoretical to me at the present moment, however I will work to deepen my understanding and application of these in my life. I feel it has been possible to reflect back on a difficult experience and state that it was for greater good, however to enjoy it equally as a happy experience when I am going through it is going to take a lot more reflection and work. I guess the step to climb is surrender, the rest will come more easily.

I have also been able to gradually bring this perspective of seeing things from a higher light in my counselling sessions with adults and parents over the last few years.

The movie clip, “It’s not about the nail” was a very telling video of how we are often hurting ourselves, some of which will be very obvious to another, but not to oneself. It forced me to reflect on aspects I may be denying or blind to. In psychological parlance this is the ‘blind self’, that is mostly obvious to others and the more we gain awareness, the more integrated and complete we feel. While we always know the importance and need for empathy and listening, the exercises and discussions brought more focus on this aspect.

The visualisation exercise of expanding one’s heart and sharing love to troubled relationships is something I am trying to practice regularly. At the end of the day, each of us is playing a role with a mask which is a dance of the Divine. When I am able to remind myself of this perspective, there is a certain stillness I experience inside. At such instances, the only thing left to do is to turn to the divine and start learning and practicing positive Samata.

I always knew that a lot of good can come out of a conflict, provided both parties engage in self-work. Often conflict is needed to bring out the best in the situation or to resolve a problem. However, the processes are emotionally draining and one tends to give up or personalise the conflict to an individual outside.

On day 3 of the sessions, I was walking my dog outside the house and she, in her energetic space, reached the elevator faster than me. While I had a firm grip on her, a resident in the elevator got petrified and started arguing with me. It is in everyday small moments like these that titiksha is very helpful. It was best that I just listened to her, any explanation would have been counter-productive as she was coming from a place of extreme fear of dog bites. A greater understanding of the ‘other’ and their perspective and previous experiences helps me ensure and respond positively. The same stimulus of a friendly dog can cause joy in some and fear in others based on their background and perspectives. It is the same for conflict too, it can be a mirror to what we need to work through.

The perspective of how one may also be the lighthouse was an important insight for me. Very often when the conflict is never-ending despite the self-work can be very disheartening. The possibility of being a lighthouse or creating ripples of love that can travel was heartening to know. It was important for me to see that the analogy of the lighthouse is also equally true from a spiritual perspective.

The first day’s assignment was about a group of disruptive students in a class. Honestly, I have faced this situation while teaching undergrad students about eight years back. Either the students were disruptive or they wouldn’t come to class and insist on attendance. I was teaching a behavioural sciences paper on career planning and thought it would be very pertinent for the students of the last semester. However, they were missing or chaotic in class. I used a mix of attendance penalty and creative teaching exercises and one-on-one conversations to bring the students to class, gain their attention and reduce the disruption. I also connected with the class representatives, subject leads, etc to understand the problem better. My efforts worked for majority of the students, though a select few threatened and bullied me, sent threats in messages, calls, etc. I also did not receive any support from the departmental heads as they encouraged or were habituated to such behaviour and preferred to just given attendance despite students not turning up in the class. It was a very messy situation. Somehow, things turned out well by the end of the semester. The student feedback was good and they had better learning outcomes than before. This was one of the worst experiences I had as an educator. In many ways this facilitated my journey into counselling and coaching students and parents regarding career prospects and courses based on their strengths and personalities rather than suffer poor choices and peer pressure. My effort to see the lens from multiple perspective – students, faculty, department, college and my own lens helped me keep my cool and take a considered stance. I wasn’t a follower of the Mother’s teachings then, but somehow on hindsight it seems she guided me to the experience and also through the experience and to the future outcomes for my professional work. So, in all ways it was a divine Play.

Even attending this session on Conflict resolution was not a planned outcome, I was seeking to learn and engage more actively and this came my way. Gratitude to James, Lopa, all participants and the NAMAH community for this experience. Gratitude to the Mother.

Feedback:

“Very pleasant and collaborative.”

“Grateful to be part of the process.”

“I have been and am still part of ‘building bridges’ and trying to break down walls and fences – these sessions were very encouraging to go forward .”

Will the sessions awaken in you a heightened sense of empathy?

“Yes, especially while resolving an interpersonal ongoing issue…. to reach out the truth without hurting.”